My Only Wish
by Lura Elsworth
Summary: Breathing is never in equation with Living. This thought has always been engraved in her heart, the words repeatedly carved, each stroke deeper than the last, until it could no longer be erased. The pain used to be unbearable. Used to be. In the end- 'There is only one wish that I have: That one day when I die, there would be someone who remembers my voice.' AkashiXOC.
1. Chapter 1- A New Beginning

**So. I already have three KnB Chinese fanfics on other sites but then I thought it would be interesting if I did one in English and so… Here it is! =D**

**Note that not everything I write will follow the manga or anime one hundred percent. Personally, I have not read the manga (it's too long, seriously) and since both manga and anime are not finished yet, I'll just write whatever I come out with. **

**As is with the rest of my stories, I have no plot. I write what I think when I'm typing so… *shrugs* We'll see. XD**

**This is an AkashiXOC story (I know. I'm a big Akashi's fan and I don't know why.)**

**Lastly, I do not own anything related to Kuroko no Basuke. **

**Warning: 1. I don't know how often I'll be updating this. Seeing as I have a LOT of fics to complete. So this probably will be updated whenever I have that 'surge' of inspiration. 2. I'm still debating how I want Akashi to be, but he most probably will be nice (with a hint of his dark personality) 3. I'm experimenting with writing in present tense so… it might be a little awkward in places.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Chapter 1- A New Beginning

_'There is only one wish that I have: That one day when I die, there would be someone who remembers my voice.'_

_- Amekawa Shiori 雨川 詩織_

* * *

It is the first of April. Sakura trees could be seen blooming wildly on either side of the road that leads to the most prestigious private school in Kyoto- Rakuzan High. Today is the first day of a new term and new year. First-year students, clad in their pale blue and white uniforms could be seen walking in groups of twos and threes, talking animatedly about their new chapter and status in life, forming cliques even before they arrive; second and third year students are more subtle, greeting everyone they know politely.

A girl with long raven hair trails behind an energetic group of freshmen, her pale pink lips curving up wistfully as she listens to their conversation. They seem to be so full of life, so full of curiosity and anticipation that is almost contagious.

"Shi-chan,"

She stops in her tracks as the familiar nickname reaches her ears. A large hand rests on top of her head and she turns to see a male with long black hair which reaches his chin looking down at her from his tall frame with a smile in his gentle eyes.

"Good morning, Reo," she says, with a small smile of her own. Her voice is soft- with a slight bell-like undertone that is pleasant to hear.

Mibuchi Reo stares at her for a moment before wrapping an arm around her thin shoulders, steering the both of them in the direction of their school.

"It has been so long since we last met each other. hasn't it?" he asks her as they resumed their pace.

The girl tilts her head slightly to the side as she glances up at him with faint amusement lighting up her grey eyes, "It was just a couple of weeks ago,"

"And _that_, is a couple of weeks too long," he states with a firm nod, "It was so lonely coming to school for practice everyday and yet to be unable to see your face…" he complains with that smooth tenor voice of his, though, the teasing glint that's apparent in his eyes tells a different story.

"Did anything interesting happen during spring break?" she asks as they arrive at the school gates.

He thinks for a second, "Nothing much, other than the fact that the captain of the Generation of Miracles appeared during one of our practices," he turns to her, "You know who that is, don't you?"

"Yes, I've heard of them- or him, rather," she says. "By the way, Reo, we're in the same class right?"

He nods in affirmation, "2-B. I guess I should say 'please take care of me this year too',"

"How about your friends from the basketball team?"

"Kotaro and Eikichi will be in 2-F. I honestly pity the teachers in their class," Reo says, "Having one of them is tough enough but to have the two of them together-" he shook his head in exasperation, "There will be nothing but disaster."

* * *

Supporting his chin with his left hand, Reo let his eyes sweep across his new classroom before finally landing on the girl sitting in front of him.

From his angle, all he could see is her waist-length hair and her small, almost fragile-looking, figure. She has a book open on the desk in front of her, opting to read quietly in her own seat when all the others are chatting away, exchanging stories about their spring break, socialising with new classmates and so on.

As he taps his finger against the wooden surface, he couldn't help but wonder about her-

Amekawa Shiori.

She is, for a lack of better word, different from the others. The first time she caught his notice was one month after their entrance ceremony last year when all of them had to decide which club they wanted to join. While the rest of the students in their form headed off to check out the more famous and popular clubs of Rakuzan, she had turned in her application letter to the Student Council- and got herself the position of a assistant secretary. She refused- and refuses still- to participate in any club activities.

Rakuzan is a place where only the strongest survives. As harsh as it sounds, it is how the world and society is. They are merely being trained in this mentality earlier than most.

In a way, _it_ is one of the reasons why they have some of the best scholars and athletes in the whole of Japan.

He- along with many others- used to wonder why she was- and is- so against entering a club. After all, she had done marvellously well in their entrance exam, scoring a 789 over their total score of 800, ranking third among the two hundred who had taken the exam with her.

As everyone knows, one could enter Rakuzan through three different ways:-

1. Extraordinary brainpower

2. Outstanding physical abilities

3. Rich family background

It is obvious that Amekawa Shiori has the first one, and it was only until later that they learnt that the third requirement applies to her too. Her family is one of the riches in Kyoto- and, unlike most which accumulated their wealth through business ventures and political positions, the Amekawa's riches is passed down to them from generation to generation. In short, they are a traditional family which has its roots in the Meiji period, with their founder as one of the generals in the Emperor's courts.

"Amekawa-san, your presence is required in the student council."

Reo snaps out of his thoughts when the girl in front of him stands up. He watches as she leaves the classroom without much of a hesitation.

"I wonder if this is the reason they like her so much," he mutters to himself, "That girl is too helpful for her own good."

It is a common knowledge among everyone in the student body that Amekawa Shiori is a good worker- efficient and willing to go out of her way just to get something done. He has even seen her staying back in school until late evening, finishing up the work that's left behind. It is no wonder that despite her low profile, she is respected by their peers and teachers alike.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Shiori stops outside the Student Council office with a hand raised to knock on the door but hesitates when she hears the solemn voices coming from the inside. She could differentiate the voices of her fellow council members but there is one voice that she hasn't heard of before. They seem to be talking, with the stranger taking control of the flow of their conversation.

"Amekawa?"

"Mizuno-senpai," she greets the senior with a small bow.

Mizuno Hideki （水野 秀樹）,the current Secretary, raises his brows in question, "What are you doing outside? I thought Haru was the one who sent for us?" having said that, he pushes open the door without even bothering to knock.

The occupants in the room, who are sitting around the long table, turn at the sound of their entrance.

At once, Shiori catches sight of the young man with scarlet red hair sitting at the head of the table. He has both hands crossed in front of his chest, his gaze calm but piercing as he looks up at Mizuno who is standing in front of her, seemingly sizing him up as he does so. An analysing and calculative look flashes across his eyes as he nods slightly to himself before he lets his eyes fall on her.

- A queer combination of gold and rose red.

Shiori meets his eyes unwaveringly, even as quick recognition runs through her.

She knows who he is. Akashi Seijurou, captain of the Generation of Miracles Reo mentioned earlier.

She catches Mizuno's inquiring gaze that is directed at their president who is seated with an inscrutable look on his face, his lips thinly pursed into a tight line.

It would be a lie to say that they could not guess that _something_ which is amiss.

Their president finally lets out a long sigh before he addresses them, "Mizuno, Amekawa, meet our new president- Akashi Seijurou."

There is a short moment of silence as that sentence sinks into their minds. Mizuno blinks once, then twice, before asking- "Why?"

The now-ex-president sighs with a resigned air, "Akashi-san here will do a better job than I what I can do. The school has all come to a mutual agreement that he will be in charge of the student council starting from today, and he is entitled to make suitable changes in matters which he deems necessary," he pauses for a second, "That being said, I am officially retiring from my position starting now."

"Please, the two of you, have a seat,"

Shiori inclines her head at the sudden invitation voiced by Akashi who has kept his silence until now. She walks over to the table and sits down in her usual seat at the end of the table, Mizuno doing the same. The usually kind and quiet senior seems to be still bothered by this sudden turn of events. It isn't hard to understand, though. Mizuno is close friends with their ex-president, being in the same class, working alongside each other for more than one year, it is only normal for him to feel conflicted.

"Haru, are you sure?" she hears Mizuno whispering to his friend.

The dark-haired senior shrugs, giving him a reassuring smile, "There's nothing more I can do. Though, you don't have to worry, Akashi really is capable of leading."

* * *

"So, Shi-chan, what was your meeting about?"

"What meeting?"

Shiori replies without looking up at the boy who has settled himself comfortably in the chair in front of her. Her eyes gluing onto the pages of her paperback novel.

"That student council meeting. That was the reason they summoned you, wasn't it?" Reo says, genuine curiosity showing in his eyes.

"It wasn't really a meeting; just to announce that Akashi Seijurou will be taking over the post of the president."

"What?" Reo asks, unable to come out with a more decent response.

"That captain of the Generation of Miracles," she rephrases, finally sparing him a glance, "He's decided to come here, didn't he? Apparently, he's appointed directly by the executive board…" she trails off as she flips a page of her book.

Reo breathes in disbelieve, "And just after he knocked over the captain of our basketball club too…" during recess. He stares at the girl who appears to be unaffected by everything, "Aren't you the least bit perturbed, Shi-chan?"

"… No. Why should I be?"

And, there it is. Reo thinks to himself. That feeling that nothing could ever disrupt that calmness around her. No, calmness sounds so much nicer than what it really is. Nonchalance.

Even after one whole year, he still could not solve the mystery Amekawa Shiori is. She helps people as if she has all the time in the world, yet when something happens that being concerned would be the most logical reaction, she shows none; she is one of the most popular female student in Rakuzan, and yet, he has never heard anyone but himself call her by her name- though, he got that privilege only after six whole months of relentless persistence; she is the only daughter of the highly-esteemed Amekawa family, yet there has been another rumour circulating that she lives by herself- not that this is proven.

All in all, she is a walking contradiction.

But then-

He smiles to himself as the bell rings for dismissal. One of the reason why students like the first day of school: No lessons at all- at least, for Rakuzan that is.

"What are your plans after this?" he voices his question as she remains in her seat while the others begun packing.

"I'll be helping out Kiriya-sensei with her class-plans for this year."

Oh, right. She's the class representative this year too. Reo reminds himself mentally as he returns to his seat, picking up his school bag and the basketball that has been under his desk this whole while. "Well, I'll be going for practice now. See you tomorrow, if not later."

A light smile surfaces, "Of course, Reo. All the best with your training. Tell Hayama-san and Nebuya-san the same for me."

"Kotaro will be complaining why it's me and not you telling him that," he teases, "And Eikichi will probably just ignore me in favour of his meal… that glutton."

"Should you be calling your teammates that? The last time I checked, all three of you were part of the Uncrowned Generals," she said lightly, in the same joking manner.

"Please don't remind me of that," he grumbles, covering his face with his palm, "They could be so embarrassing at times."

"But you like them," she concludes simply.

Mibuchi Reo ruffles her hair at that as he chuckles. "You're right." he admits easily, a fond look entering his expression.

-But then, one could not deny that she is one of the nicest soul alive. Once you get to know her.

* * *

"That'll be all for now, Amekawa-san. Thank you so much for your help."

"You're welcome, Kiriya-sensei,"

Kiriya Satomi looks at the girl in front of her with approval. It truly is a blessing to have a student like her in class.

"You should head home now, Amekawa-san. It's getting late and I'm sure your parents ail be worried."

Shiori smiles, "Then I'll be going now," she says, excusing herself before exiting the staff room.

Walking along the sun-tinted-orange corridor, the empty walkway seems deserted. Echoes of her footsteps seems to grow louder with each passing moment, her lone shadow trailing behind her, stretching longer and longer as the sun sets further down the horizon.

Her grey eyes, unnervingly clear until this very second seems to grow darker, until light vanishes completely from their depths.

Storm-like grey.

This is the new colour that took the place of the former one.

A silver white car meets her at the front gates of the school, a man in his forties with a dark suit steps out from the driver's side to open the door for her.

"Shiori-sama,"

She climbs into the back seat and watches with impassive eyes as the driver starts the car and begins driving away.

The silence in the car is heavy. Uncomfortable. Yet, it seems to be that both of them are used to it.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrive in front of a traditional looking mansion. The words '_雨川_'- _Amekawa_- are skilfully crafted into the brick walls that surrounds the building, announcing its owner proudly for the world to know.

"ただいま。" _I'm home_, she says.

...

Her only response is the sound of her own breathing, and the hushed footsteps of the servants bustling about in the house.

...

* * *

_'People always tell me that a new beginning signifies Change and Hope. I never believed them. New beginnings mean nothing to me... Nothing at all.'_

_-Amekawa Shiori (age 10)_

* * *

**Ah, I finally got this out of my system. =D I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed typing it out.**

**Leave a comment and tell me what you think~**


	2. Chapter 2- That Empty Mansion

**Flashbacks are in italics. (It's the same in every fiction of mine =D)**

* * *

Chapter 2- That Empty Mansion

_'Dead.'_

_'It is the only word I could think of every time I enter that house.'_

_- Kuroko Tetsuya 黒子 哲也_

* * *

Evening is usually the busiest, if not worst, hour to take the _Shinkansen_. Working people in suits and ties, middle and high school students flood the entire station, making it hard to even find a small spot to stand. Strangers brush by each other, not sparing a glance as their shoulders knock against another ever so often. It is such a common thing that no one is bothered by it anymore.

A teenager among the midst of people keeps his face expressionless as he feels his foot being stepped on- again. His light blue eyes scans his surrounding, trying to find a less hard route to cross over the platform in order to get outside. No one seems to notice him, only letting out yelps of surprise when they bump into the almost invisible boy.

He is used to it. Kuroko Tetsuya thinks to himself as he removes his shoes from under a pair of boots with a forceful tug of his leg. Smoothing out his black uniform, he takes his first step forward in attempt to pass through the sea of people. Being as invisible as he is brings him one advantage as well as one disadvantage. The advantage being that he is able to slip through almost anything and everything without being bothered by anyone; the disadvantage, on the other hand, is that since he is so unnoticeable, it takes a longer time- like now- to get by a crowd who just can't seem to hear his polite 'excuse me's'.

But he'll manage. He always does.

The first breeze of Kyoto's spring air hits him in the face, welcoming him from his long journey. He lets his eyes wander, noting the difference of this place, comparing it with how he remembers it since his last visit half a year ago. Nothing much has changed. And that fact, brings him an odd sense of comfort.

"Kuroko Tetsuya-sama,"

He looks up when he hears his name being called. A middle-aged man stands in front of him, bowing slightly in respect as he continues to say, "This way, please. Shiori-sama has been waiting for your arrival."

"Thank you, Yamaoka-san."

He follows the man to a car and gets in, his mind beginning to wander as the driver starts the car.

* * *

Amekawa Shiori sits silently at the dining table, her utensils hardly making any noise as she eats with manners, which, would not have made any difference since no one is there to see. A servant stands nearby, ready to assist her if she ever needs anything.

Her eyes are fixed upon the plate in front of her, as if the chicken fricassee with tarragon is the most interesting thing at that moment. The sound of the grandfather clock ticking at the corner of the room fills the air with its solemn, regular beats. The bright light that the chandelier overhead gives out only adds to the seriousness- as well as formality- of the entire space.

The silence is deafening.

And to be honest, she can't seem to decide which one she prefers. This silence after she moved out, or the noises she had to endure before.

A knock on the door interrupts her train of thought as she is finishing the last bit of her food. The butler appears at the entrance of the dining room, saying, "Shiori-sama, Kuroko Tetsuya-sama has arrived."

She nods in acknowledgment, wiping her mouth and setting her napkin on the table before she gets up, "I understand. Thank you for informing me, you are now dismissed."

With that, she leaves the dining room, entering the hallway before heading straight to the living room.

The teal-haired boy is standing in front of the bookshelf placed beside a thirty-inch plasma television. His fingers gliding smoothly across the spines of the books as he reads the title. She lets out a small smile as she walks over to him, "Find something to your liking?" she asks, her eyes following his line of sight.

He turns slightly, "Good evening, Shiori nee-san,"

"Good evening, Tetsuya," she says, knowing fully well about his peculiar strictness of mannerisms. "So, did you see anything you like?" Shiori asks again.

Kuroko Tetsuya nods as he points to a few of the titles, "Yes, some of these seem interesting. May I borrow it?"

"Of course you may," she answers, pulling those few books out from their places, "And you don't have to worry about returning them. Take your time and enjoy your reading."

"Thank you very much, nee-san."

Shiori's eyes softened, "You know you don't have to thank me. Instead, _I _am the one who should thank you for coming all the way here from Tokyo. I believe Yamaoka-san has spotted you earlier with no problem?"

"He did," _and the fact never ceases to surprise me_- his blank face seems to say.

Shiori laughed lightly, inviting him to sit down on the couch, "Really, Tetsuya, you're not _that_ unseeable," and, seeing his disagreeing look, she adds, "Well, for some of us, that is." He nods when he hears this, temporarily appeased. Shiori hands him a cup of tea that the butler has prepared before hand, "I had the servants clear your room for you. Tomorrow morning I'll ask Yamaoka-san to send you back to Tokyo so you don't have to worry about being late to school. You brought all your extra clothes and stuffs, did you not?"

"If it isn't too much of a bother, I'll take up your offer. And yes, I did bring all my necessities," he replies, pointing to the small bag beside him.

"_Jyaa_, what is it that you want to talk to me about?" she questions after they have made themselves comfortable. Her grey eyes taking up a serious hue as she stares at him, waiting patiently for an answer to her inquiry.

Tetsuya rubs his thumb over his cup as he contemplates on his words. A long minute of quietness passes before he speaks-

"Shiori nee-san, do you remember that conversation we had six months ago?" His voice is soft, his eyes downcast as he asks.

Shiori gazes at him for a while, thinking back to the first time they had a conversation back when she was just a first year student in Rakuzan-

* * *

_Shiori was puzzled- more than puzzled- when she heard the unfamiliar voice through the receiver. _

_Kuroko Tetsuya? She pondered for a while before recalling that he was her __third-remove cousin whom she had met only a handful of times during New Year's reunion every year. He was a year younger than she was, and, she would not lie about the fact that she would have ignored him along with the others- or maybe categorised him together with those distant relatives she never bothered to remember- if not for the the way, she had noticed by chance, he was treated as if he did not exist by most family members. _

_She remember observing him from the main table, his quiet and emotionless demeanour intrigued her. No one seemed to see him, no one other than his parents bothered to talk to him, and what was most noteworthy was that he just did not seem to mind._

_He seem to enjoy his solitude, always slipping away into the gardens whenever the meal finished- and when the adults began talking about politics, their jobs, and their children's education. _

_They had bumped into each other once or twice in the traditional walkway, smiling or nodding in greeting before they each went on their own paths. They never had the chance to talk until she received a phone call with the caller identifying himself as Kuroko Tetsuya._

_Shiori stared at the receiver in her hand before she hung up. Then turning to the butler, she said, "A guest will be coming over later today. Will you please make suitable arrangement for his coming?"_

_It was the first time she had heard his voice. And, just as she had suspected, it was quietly polite._

_Something was bothering him from the undertone she heard._

_She thought hard about the information she knew about him. It was only then that she realised she knew next to nothing, other than the fact that he went to Teiko. _

* * *

"Of course I remember," she says gently, "You told me that you quitted your basketball team and that you hated basketball."

* * *

_"Good afternoon, Shiori-san."_

_She regarded the boy in front of her carefully, her brows creasing slightly as she saw the dull and defeated look in his eyes that was not there before._

_"Good afternoon, Tetsuya-kun. Please don't hesitate to make yourself at home."_

* * *

It had been an unexpected surprise for the both of them by the end of that day when one of them found himself retelling his tale of his frustrations and the other found herself becoming a listener she never knew she was.

Shiori smiles at the memory, not of Tetsuya's misfortunes but of them finding a friend they both desperately needed in each other.

"So what of it?" she prompts him softly, leaning forward in her seat after she sets down her own cup.

The younger boy seems to be in deep thoughts for a moment before he opens his mouth, "I joined the Seirin basketball team today." is his simple statement.

But no matter how easy that sentence may appear to be, she has no doubts in her mind that he has gone through many sleepless nights debating with himself about it. She stares at him for a long while, remembering what he told her the last time-

- '_They have become so strong that no one could ever be of any challenge to them. Teamwork doesn't matter anymore, _they_ don't need me anymore. Teiko teaches us that failure is unacceptable and that winning is everything but I can't help but think 'is this right?'. Looking down on other opponents, toying with them by setting a score, __competing within themselves about who will get the highest number of points… I hate it. I hate the squeaking sounds my shoes made against the waxed floor, I hate the sound of basketball whooshing through the net, and most of all, I hate the feeling of the ball against my fingers… How could I hate it? How could I hate the very thing that I love? That is why, I quit.'_

She could almost see his pained face in her mind's eye, how lost and anguish he was when he finished his story. She had said nothing then, merely listening as he poured out the feelings that he had hidden in his heart for so long. There was no tears in his eyes but that look of despair was enough to make up for them.

"I want to give basketball another try, to prove to myself that what I believe all these while is not wrong," his muted voice brings her back to reality, she lifts her eyes just as he raises his to look at her, determination filling his orbs, "I _will_ defeat my ex-teammates and become first in Japan. I _will_ show them that teamwork is vital to victory."

"The Generation of Miracles," she says in a low voice, a flash of red crossing her mind. She shifts her attention to him, "I wish you the best, Tetsuya."

Tetsuya looks stunned for a split second before his lips curls up into a small smile of his own- rare, but not uncommon to the older girl. Hearing her reply reminds him of the reason he chose to confide in her rather than other people.

* * *

_"Oh, that poor girl," _

_It was something young Tetsuya overheard his mother say to his father one day when they thought the was in bed. He peeked into the gap out of __curiosity, seeing his parents sitting next to each other on the sofa, his father had an arm around his wife, and, while Tetsuya couldn't really catch a glimpse of their faces, he was certain his mother held a sorrowful look- if her tone of voice was any indication._

_"You know there's nothing we could do about it," his father was saying, "And you know how it's like in the main house."_

_"But she's just a child!"_

_It took some time before he could comprehend what his parents meant that night. After years of discreet observation, he finally gathered enough information to piece up for himself what the others were not willing to say out loud. Tetsuya had always prided himself for his observatory skills and the day he decided to take the first step was the day after he had discovered that his childhood friend, Ogiwara Shigehiro, had left without any prior notice, leaving behind a pair of wrist bands which was given to him by one of Ogiwara's teammate- who, had been prepared to quit as well._

_He didn't know why but just when he was starting to find it hard to breathe, the first person that came to his thoughts was the owner of that unfamiliar pair of calm grey eyes. _

_- "Why, Tetsuya? Why did you come to me?" the girl had asked him at the end of that day._

_And if he had to be truthful, he did not know at all._

_His gut feeling told him that she was someone who would understand and he simply listened._

* * *

"Somehow, I'm not surprised that you would say that, Shiori nee-san," he says drily, keeping the smile on his face when he hears her laughing at his response.

Shiori takes in a deep breath before getting up from her seat, "Well, I suppose we should head upstairs now and wash up before we retire for the night. I believe you must be tired," she pauses, "Tetsuya, you came all the way here just to tell me this?" Her voice is cautious, as if unsure this is a valid reason for someone to travel such a long way when all may be well with just a phone call, or even a text message.

Tetsuya shrugs as he follows her up the stairs, "Why not?"

She stops when she reaches the second floor, an odd expression crossing her face when she gazes at him, "You're a queer person, Kuroko Tetsuya," she comments slowly.

Tetsuya looks back at her with a somewhat innocent look, "I believe I have been told that a couple of times."

The older girl shakes her head, half in amusement as she points to one of the doors on their right, "This is your room for tonight, there's a bathroom inside and I've requested that you are provided everything you need. But, if there's anything lacking, don't hesitate to call one of the servants, or me, for that matter," she adds the last bit as she walks toward her own room.

"I'll be fine," he assures her, "おやすみなさい、姉さん。" _- Good night, nee-san -_

"Good night to you as well, Tetsuya."

He watches her retreating figure until she's hidden behind the door. Before he enters his room, he glances back at the painfully empty hall. White lights illuminate the marble-floors, _bonsai_ plants against classic wallpapers are the only colour present in this spotlessly-clean mansion. There is nothing sentimental in this spacious abode, no pictures, no touch of coziness, nothing that speaks of the word 'home'.

There is no life in this house, no sound of chatters or laughter.

From where he stands, he could not help but suppress a small shiver of chill going down his spine.

… Eerily dead.

* * *

_'We always think of Horror and Darkness as one. That statement could not have been further from the truth.'_

_'Light, when there is no warmth, is Horror in itself.'_

_- Amekawa Shiori (age 9)_

* * *

**First off, I want to thank all of you who read, reviewed, followed, and favourited this story! =D **

**I have always liked Kuroko (he's my second favourite person in KnB) and so I made him Shiori's distant cousin… (It was one of the first thing that went on Shiori's character profile when I created this XD)**

**I will be quite busy for the next few weeks and, if you are ever wondering where I have disappeared to you could always check my profile, I try to make sure that I always leave a short note just so my readers don't think I've gone all MIA… (and unless I state really clearly that a story is on hiatus, I will always update it, no matter how long it takes)**

**I do not own KnB; only OCs and original scenes are mine.**

**Just one question: I have recently created a Tumblr so… how, exactly, do you use it? **


	3. Chapter 3- Without Reason

Chapter 3- Without Reason

_'Helpful? That's the very last thing I am. Let me tell you plainly: I merely do the things I do for my own selfish reasons.'_

_- Amekawa Shiori 雨川 詩織_

* * *

It is six-thrity in the morning. After sending her cousin off with a vanilla milkshake- which had him glowing with delight- Shiori has set off for school earlier than her usual time. Rakuzan High has its gates open by five forty five every morning, allowing the sports club to start their activities, the staffs to arrive early so they could prepare themselves for the day, and a minority of the students who decides to turn up hours before classes starts- which, if nothing special happens, is usually eight o'clock.

The student council's office is empty when she pushes open the door. Sunlight pours in from the french windows on the east side of the wall, lighting up the entire room with its subtle glow. Taking out her notebook, she sets it down on the table and presses the power button, waiting a few minutes for it to load. The faint whirring noise that is being emitted from the device moves the stagnant air, successfully cutting through the suffocating silence. It isn't long until her skilful fingers begin dancing across the keys, lines after lines of words appearing on the blank pages of a new document file. Grey eyes dart to an open book that's placed at the side from time to time, the sound of clicking stopping for a brief second before resuming its pace.

"What are you doing?"

An unfamiliar voice rings out out of the blue, snapping her out of her trance-like focus. Regular footsteps resounds as its owner draws nearer to where she sits. Shiori looks up and offers the newcomer a smile, "Good morning, Akashi-san."

"Good morning,"

The first year's reply is politely courteous, but, just like the first time she heard his voice, it is almost devoid of any emotion. She tilts her head slightly and pushes the book over for him to see. Paragraphs of short form writings, numbers and symbols are presented proudly, all, though hastily written, are tidy and neat. The junior runs his gaze over the page once before flipping through the rest of the pages.

"These are the minutes of our past meetings recorded by Mizuno-senpai last year," she explains, watching him as he continues browsing through the hardcover book, "I'm just sorting them all out in order."

Akashi Seijurou hums, his heterochromatic eyes examining the figures in front of him critically.

Realising that the new president is not leaving anytime soon, Shiori turns back to her work, pausing every now and then to recall the next item from memory. So focused in what she is doing, Shiori fails to notice the retreating footsteps five minutes later.

But then-

-Even if she did, she would not have cared.

* * *

Mibuchi Reo glances up at the girl who arrived in class just as the bell rung. Smiling gently, he says, "I see you're earlier then usual today, Shi-chan." The fact that he did not catch sight of her anywhere along the path to school this morning is proof enough for him to know that. Despite his daily morning practices, Reo is very much used to 'bumping' into the girl on the way, with the girl's effort to come before time, their schedules match- coincidentally.

His friend shrugs in response, "I had nothing better to do."

He stretches his long hand to ruffle her hair, "Your reason never change."

"I have no reason to change my reason."

"You," Reo sighs, defeated. Patting her head one last time, he straightens his posture as their teacher walks into the classroom. An innocent grin surfaces when he sees her direct a slightly irritated half-glare at him as she attempts to comb her hair back to its natural place. He raises both hands discreetly and mouths '_None of my business_'.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Grey eyes darkens for a millisecond as smooth brows furrow a fraction. Shiori lets out a long slow breath and allows her eyelids to close, blocking the stormy irises from view of the world. Pale slender hands slams the book shut and pushes them to the edge of the table.

- Lies.

A soft but poisonous voice whispers into her ears. Her breathing hitches before she forces them back to their regular pace.

- If it wasn't for their literature class, she would have thrown this book away and have it burned before she ever read a word from it voluntarily.

...

On the cover of the book is a black and white picture of a young girl, staring adoringly at something far off in a distance, the words 《拝啓、私の家族へ》in traditional _shod__o _writing is printed vertically on the right side of the cover.

- _'To, My Beloved Family'_

* * *

"… So will you be able to come this weekend, Amekawa-san?"

Shiori gazes up at the beaming, energetic senior in front of her, her mind automatically matching up that alien face to a name- Mikami Saya (三上 鞘), a third-year student and president of the Music Club; a girl known for her bubbly nature and childlike eagerness, despite the fact that her parents are both renowned lawyers. Shiori vaguely remembers seeing them somewhere on the television before and- to put it simply- she is pretty sure the daughter of those sharp and cunning people is not as naive as she appears to be.

"This weekend would be fine, Mikami-senpai," she says at last, after running through her weekly schedule unhurriedly.

Mikami Saya claps her hands and exclaims, "Really? Thank you so much! I was really worried that you were already taken since I wasn't able to get hold of you these past few weeks. And, to be honest, we cannot stand to be in the hall next to the basketball court anymore! The sounds of whistles and yelling keeps interrupting us when we're practicing or rehearsing…"

Shiori listens as the older girl rants on, not minding the long-windedness of the whole thing as she filters through the information that is being thrown about in a less than organised fashion.

"I'll see what I can do, Mikami-senpai. If I deem it necessary, I will request a change of location for the music club's future weekly activities."

"You're a life-saver, Amekawa-san!"

And with that, the animated senior goes away with a noticeable skip in her steps.

Jotting down a simplified note into her personal planner, Shiori purses her lips as her eyes sweeps through the long list of things to do. Something akin to relief crosses her face and gripping tighter onto her pen, she slashes out a few words written just above the newly-dried letters.

- And if one ever bothered to observe carefully, he or she could see that those words that were crossed out were always the same.

"As long as there is something to do," she mumbles, leaving the unfinished sentence to hang in the air as she turns around to walk away.

* * *

The long corridor that leads to the library is usually the quietest place in Rakuzan, with only a handful of students loitering about. Now and then hushed murmurs echo throughout the passage, and at times, the merry chirping of birds accompanies them. Walking down the long stretch, Shiori pauses mid-step as a hand touches her shoulder._  
_

"Senpai?"

A tall senior with medium length grey hair steps out from the shadows, his eyes blank but not cold as he nods in greeting to the girl.

Shiori finds herself smiling a little, "Mayuzumi-senpai, why are you here?"

The silent youth motions the single book in his hand, "To return this."

"《貴族探偵 エドワード》?" Shiori asks as she stops in front of the double door that leads into the library, "Is it nice? I've never read it before."

Her companion shrugs, "It's okay, I guess."

Used to his curt replies, Shiori ventures into the library, heading straight to the main counter after a brief 'goodbye' to the senior she got to know in her previous year. Their meeting had not been anything out of the ordinary, in truth, Shiori does not even remember how she came to know his name.

Mayuzumi Chihiro.

A third year who keeps a low profile and someone who has a presence as low as Tetsuya.

Maybe that is one of the reason she noticed him in the first place. The conversations they held could be counted with ten fingers, the both of them could only describe the other as being acquaintances. Nothing more, nothing less. They greet each other in the halls, exchange some knowledge about novels, and that's about all. She has no desire to know him further. It just isn't necessary.

Out of her peripheral vision, she catches a flash of grey going to the opposite direction.

Pushing away all those useless thoughts, Shiori stands in front of the head librarian and raps the table surface lightly to get her attention, "Excuse me," she says, "Do you know where Suzuki-sensei is? I'm here to discuss some minor details with her about the incoming shipment of new equipments."

The head librarian, a second year, looks up from her paperwork and inclines her head, "She should be in the World Classics section. You know how addicted Suzuki-sensei is to those books," the librarian grins, "Oh, and, Amekawa-san, this is the book you were looking for last semester. Do you still need it?"

"It's alright, I managed to find one in the state library. Thank you all the same, though." with that, she leaves the counter, her mind set upon the task in front of her. The ancient smell of old, yellowed pages invades her nose as she makes her way through the shelves of books. It is a soothing scent, in her opinion. Something eBooks can't offer.

The teacher she is looking for is well-hidden behind a humongous pile of books in the most secluded part of the library. The only part visible- thankfully- is the upper half of her head. How she got into that position, Shiori decides against questioning.

"Suzuki-sensei, are you free for a moment?"

The teacher peers out from her literature fort, her eyes lighting up with recognition as she disappears from view for a short second. The piles of books are pushed aside to create a path in the middle, dust particles swirl with the motion and Shiori covers her nose and mouth with a hand.

"Ah, Amekawa-san, are you here to talk about that new shipment? Isn't that Mizuno-san's job?" the teacher inquires as she readjusted her glasses.

Shiori offers her handkerchief, "You have a smudge on you cheek, sensei. And, yes, Mizuno-senpai was the one who was supposed to go through this issue with you but since something urgent happened he was unable to come over today."

"I see," Suzuki wipes her face carefully, using the reflection of a thin piece of metal- which made up the frames of the window- as a mirror. And after she is sure there is nothing left on her cheek, she pockets the handkerchief, "I'll return it to you tomorrow, Amekawa-san. And now, shall we begin?"

...

* * *

Evening red paints the walls and hallways with its mystifying shade, all are subjected to be its canvas, whether willing or reluctant. In a distant, the bell chimes seven times, proudly announcing the time. Clubs are dismissed and extra classes are ended, staffs begin to leave the building as a student representative of each club locks their club rooms after making sure that everything is neatly in order.

The gates of Rakuzan are closed by seven-thirty everyday.

"You're still here?"

However, inside the student council office, Akashi Seijurou is staring down at a certain raven-haired girl, his brow slightly raised.

Shiori blinks at the unexpected interruption. In the past, no one ever stayed long enough to catch her lingering in the office until this time, the only thing they _know_ is that she stays on later than normal, which is why the rest of the members agreed to let her own a pair of keys that leads to this place. If they _had_ known, she doubts that they would approve- especially Mizuno-senpai who is really particular about girls walking around in the school grounds alone in the dark, even though they are heavily guarded with security cameras.

"I'll be leaving soon, Akashi-san," she informs him instead of answering his question.

Though he said that, there was no condemnation in his tone. At the same time, there was no curiosity.

"How about you? What are you doing here?" she asks as she turns off her notebook. Behind her, the printer lets out a small ringing tone, the final printed page falling onto the thick stack bellow. Shiori turns and gathers the papers, leafing through the pages, her eyes scanning the numberings at the bottom, "But since you're here," she says slowly, pausing for a long time before she looks up to finish her sentence, "I might as well give you these now." She tells him, handing the stack over.

"These are the minutes I showed you this morning. I know you didn't ask for it yet but I have a feeling that you'll want it soon."

"And how are you so sure?" Akashi asks, of course, not rejecting the documents.

She smiles a little, "Would you believe me if I told you it was all 'intuition'?" she asks back while making quotation marks in the air.

"No."

Her smile diminishes, though a trace of it is still present. She stands up from her seat and grabs her bag, "Then I have to say that I have no idea how I knew. I'll be going now, Akashi-san. See you tomorrow."

Akashi watches as the girl leaves the room, his mismatched eyes glinting faintly with an emotion no one could understand.

* * *

_'If you truly believe that I am who I appear to be on the outside, then you are a fool, just like the rest.'_

_'But to tell you the truth, even I myself don't know the real me.'_

_- Amekawa Shiori (age 13)_

* * *

**Special notes: 1.《拝啓、私の家族へ》which I mentioned Shiori was reading was made up by me. The book does not exist.**

**2. 《貴族探偵エドワード》(Hizoku Tantei Edward) is a series written by Fushino Michiru. I happen to buy two of his books in the original Japanese language out of curiosity and it took me TWO hours just to read three pages… Basically it's a sort-of detective story… and I don't know what else is in it… I just saw the author's profile and saw a 'yaoi' word in the genre and now I'm second doubting if I should continue reading. **

**Just one small question: How many of you understands Japanese? (or takes Japanese classes?)**

**...**

**Anyway, here's the third chapter! =D**

**I want to thank all of you again for following and favouriting this story. Special thanks to Juliedoo who reviewed on the second chapter. (And ****sleepingfan, JapaneseDeer, as well as LeoInuyuka who reviewed on the first.)**

**As I have mentioned in my profile, I have tons of exams coming up in May and June so I will probably be updating less often for these two and a half months. (I think I'll probably be doing my Ouran fic, if I ever update...)**

**So KnB's second season is over… T_T Why?! Akashi haven't even appeared yet! (…that short scene does NOT count!)**

**I do not own KnB; all OCs and original scenes are mine.**

**PS: For some reason I wasn't quite satisfied with this chapter… can I say I really hate present tense? (Though it's something I really want to overcome…)**


	4. Chapter 4- I Don't Know

Chapter 4- I Don't Know

_'Sometimes, I'd find myself staring into the mirror with only one question in mind-'_

_'Who am I?'_

_'…As years passed, I think I have lost my answer…'_

_- Amekawa Shiori 雨川 詩織_

* * *

Weekend arrives in the blink of an eye, signifying the finishing of the first week of this new school year. And one week, is enough for all the students to settle down, form their own cliques, and know where they stand in their miniature community. As the saying goes, 'Time waits for no one'. And unless you chase after it, you will be left behind. No exceptions. This is a rule that binds even the mightiest of Kings since Creation.

The skies in Kyoto during Spring lights up fairly early. And as of this present time, a soothing blue-ish white glow has already filled the vast parchment overhead.

In the Amekawa mansion, a lone figure is sitting on a swing in the front porch, clear grey eyes fixed upon the delightful colour of dawn. In her hand, Shiori holds a cordless phone and, just as always, she is waiting. Waiting for that one particular phone call to come- which they never fail to, not yet.

"How long will it take before he gives up, I wonder," she murmurs, a queer look of conflicting emotions crosses her face.

The solitude that surrounds her is suffocatingly comforting. During those good days, she could sit here for hours and enjoy the feeling of being alone; on bad days, however… this silence is the very thing that drives her to the point where sometimes she wonders if everything would be easier if she never existed. But that's only as far as her thoughts would go, despite everything, she knows her life is never hers to take.

At times she wonders how would life be if she was to be born in a different family, from a different social status. Would she experience it then? The childhood she was deprived of…

It is useless to think about these issues, she tells herself, blinking a few times when the phone begun ringing.

Without much thought, she lifts it to her ear-

"Hello,"

"Hello, onee-chan? It's me, Tsubasa!" a cheerful toddler voice reaches her ears, clear and filled with energy, though not as loud as normal children.

Shiori couldn't help but smile a little at his voice, "Yes, I know it's you, Tsubasa. Who else would be calling me this early on a Saturday morning?"

"Only me!"

"That's right, only you," she repeats softly, the meaning intended underneath the seemingly harmless statement is far too complicated for the three-year-old on the other side of the phone line to comprehend.

- _Of course it's you, Tsubasa. No one would call me except you. That's why I-_

"Say, onee-chan, are you coming home today?"

_- I am home- _

"_Gomen_, Tsubasa, I have to go to school today so I can't go back."

"But- but you said that last week to, and last last week! When are you ever free?" the little boy protested.

_- Never. I will never be free -_

"I really don't know. I promise I will tell you when I am, alright?"

There is a long pause on the other side, then comes a glum reply, "Alright. But come home soon, nee-chan, to visit me and mama and papa."

She closes her eyes, her knuckles turning white as she answers, "Of course, Tsubasa. Of course I will."

_- I will not. I will not return-_

After giving some excuse to hang up the phone, Shiori stands up from the swing and walks back into the house, passing the phone to the butler who greets her by the door. "I'll be leaving in half an hour, I won't be back for lunch."

"I understand, Shiori-sama."

...

The streets are mostly empty when she makes her way through them. Time to time again she hears the sound of television coming from houses she passed by. Older folks could be seen exercising in their gardens, some with their radios turned on.

Walking to school, despite the initial disapproval from her butler, is her favourite time of the day. Only on this path, is she allowed to think in peace without having to care about the others, to be herself. Back _home_, she has to live up to her title as the eldest daughter of the Amekawa family; in school, she has to live up to the expectations of her peers and teachers.

Home.

What a foreign word.

Her lips curve a little, bitterness tainting the small gesture.

* * *

"Am I too early?" Shiori asks herself quietly when she's greeted with a silent hall. Checking the hanging clock at the far end of the wall affirms that she is indeed an hour too early.

Did that phone call earlier that morning really affect her that much?

"And just when I thought I had gotten used to it too," she sighs.

Using this opportunity to survey the hall, the arrangement of chairs and the storage room at the back of the stage, Shiori then walks out from the back door, taking note of the distance between this building and the indoor basketball court beside it. The distance isn't big, but it _should've_ been big enough for two and a half lorries to pass through with no problem. She would still have to wait till the time comes for both clubs to begin practicing to see if what Mikami Saya-senpai said is valid.

Reentering the hall, she pauses in front of the grand piano standing proudly in the middle of the room. Idly, she wonders who it was that donated this fine piece of instrument to Rakuzan. Her fingers brush against the familiar black and white keys, comparing it to the one she owns at home. Would the sound quality of this one be better than mine? She muses, sitting down on the music stool. Schubert's Piano Sonata No.16 D845 in A Minor is the first thing that came to mind. And it is this piece she finds herself playing seconds later.

Crystal notes fill the vacant space, echoing slightly as they bounce off the walls. Regardless of her closed eyes, there is no mistake in her playing- it truly is a textbook performance. It isn't hard to know that this could only be achieved through countless years of hard work and persistent practice.

When the last note fades away, she is startled by the sound of clapping.

_- No one was supposed to hear that-_

"I didn't know you could play so beautifully, Shi-chan,"

"Reo? How long have you been here?" She asks, half-relieved that it's only him while the other half of her dreads the questions she is sure would come.

"Since the middle of the piece, I think," the gentle voice belonging to her classmate says. Mibuchi Reo, already changed into his sports attire, takes a step closer to her, "How long have you learned to play the piano, Shi-chan?"

"Before I could remember."

It is true.

Piano has always been a part of her short life, a piece of herself that she could never separate from. It is one of the thing that keeps her going, that she could go to when everything gets unbearable.

But at the same time…

It is the thing that reminds her of all the hurt she had felt… and would continue to feel.

She suppose no one would ever understand her, how she could be so torn up in between loving and hating something- or some_one_.

Music is her comfort; music is her pain.

Two different extremes. Two different implications.

So far, there are only two things on this earth that could mess up her emotions. Piano being the first… Amekawa Tsubasa (雨川 翼) being the other.

Tsubasa… her dear little brother… one who is born with the capability to 'fly', blessed with wings of love and hope, carrying the expectations and good will of the world…

Mibuchi Reo watches as the girl's eyes glazed over, his brows creasing in worry.

* * *

"See what I mean? They're _so_ unbearably loud!"

Shiori nods in agreement at the third-year senior, "I understand now, Mikami-senpai. I will make a request to the president to change your club's meeting place to another hall. Is there anything else you would like to add?"

Mikami Saya ponders for a moment before shaking her head, "No. How long does it take for our request to be approved?"

"Within a week, maybe two if circumstances arises."

The older girl stares at the serious junior for a long while, before suddenly saying in a low voice, "You know, Amekawa-san, I heard your playing earlier."

Shiori freezes, before forcing a smile, "And what about it, senpai?"

Mikami Saya seems to contemplate for a moment, the seriousness she possesses at the moment so unlike her usual character- confirming all the more Shiori's suspicion that all the cheerfulness is merely a facade.

The younger girl's eyes remains impassive, meeting her gaze unblinkingly. Saya decides against saying anything in the end, staring thoughtfully at the retreating back of the raven-haired girl.

She had wanted to invite Amekawa Shiori to join the music club, the talent the girl has could be unrivalled if given the chance to flourish even more. But somehow, meeting those eyes that are almost _dead_- though well-concealed- she just could not get those words out. Passion is something all musicians must have in order to succeed, a dead heart could accomplish nothing even if the owner is given a talent like no other.

But then, who is she to judge?

* * *

_"Shi-chan, let's have lunch together later."_

That was Reo's parting words earlier.

"But it's only eleven-thirty…"

Wandering aimlessly around Rakuzan's huge compound, Shiori finds a spot in the garden- A fully-shaded wooden bench that is being surrounded by numerous blossoming flowers. She looks back at the school buildings some distance away, realising immediately that it is only normal for her to not know this place with her hectic schedule. "That can be changed," she tells herself softly with a contented sigh.

She stays still when a sparrow lands on the space beside her, a gentle smile growing unknowingly on her face as she watches it. It is a genuine smile, full of simple gladness that perhaps even she herself doesn't know she could give.

* * *

"Say, Reo-nee, where is Amekawa-chan? Didn't you say you will be eating lunch with her today? I want to meet her! It's been such a long time since I saw her and she doesn't come to watch our practice ever!"

"Kotaro, please lower your volume," Reo chides his annoyingly energetic friend, trying hard to stop the orange-haired boy from jumping all over the place. "And even if Shi-chan wants to watch, our club does not allow outsiders to come in, remember?"

Hayama Kotaro pouts, disappointed, "Aw~ But I really want to see her again… Akashi, can't you do something about that stupid rule?" he asks, turning to face their new captain who has been listening to their conversation silently since the beginning.

Akashi Seijurou raises a brow, not saying a word. And soon enough, the small forward of the team shrinks away from his intimidating gaze. The first-year then turns to the taller teen, "By any chance, are you guys talking about Amekawa Shiori?"

"As expected of Sei-chan to know everything," Reo says with a smile, "Yes, we're talking about Shi-chan. We are in the same class and Kotaro looks up to her, sort of like an idol or something akin to that."

"I see she's really popular in this school," he comments, his voice betraying no trace of emotion.

"It's hard not to notice her," Reo answers with a shrug, scanning the empty hallways once again before throwing Kotaro off his shoulder, "I'm going to look around for her. All of you can go ahead to the cafeteria first."

"Great! I'm hungry!"

Hayama Kotaro takes one look at the tallest among them and explodes, "Could you be any less convincing with that piece of meat dangling from your mouth, you muscle gorilla?!"

"Manners, manners, Eikichi, Kotaro."

...

Finally getting away from his teammates, Reo makes his way quickly through the school grounds. If there is one thing he can be one hundred percent sure about Shiori is that she hates to be late. So for her to not show up at their appointed time is worrying, especially so for him who holds a soft spot for her.

- If only he had asked her where she would go…

It is at these very moments that he questions the need to build such a big school. Searching for a person in this vast expanse is like looking for a needle in the haystack. The worst thing is that the girl in question is not answering any of his calls. And _that_ never happens as well.

* * *

"So here you are, Shi-chan. You sure had me worried."

The relieved utterance went unheard by the sleeping girl.

Mibuchi Reo gazes down at the slumbering form of the girl he considers a close friend, smiling a resigned smile when he sees the peaceful look gracing her face. It is a look he does not see often, but wouldn't mind seeing more of it in the future.

As if sensing another presence with her, the girl opens her eyes slowly, grey eyes blurred and unfocused.

"Ah… Reo…"

Amused by the childlike action he is witnessing, Reo places a hand on her head and tousles her hair, "Wake up, Shi-chan. The others are waiting for us in the cafeteria."

Shiori's sits up straight at his statement, her eyes widening when she catches sight of the time in her phone and the many miscalls in its record. "I'm so sorry, Reo. I didn't mean to fall asleep like this."

"It's fine, Shi-chan, don't fret over it," he assures her, "And, I can't say I didn't enjoy watching you sleep. You were so cute."

"Reo!"

* * *

_'I have a sister of whom I have only met three times in my entire life. She is thirteen years older than I am and she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Even more beautiful than mama.'_

_'I wish she would come back home someday.'_

_'I miss her.'_

_- Amekawa Tsubasa (age 3)_

* * *

**And here's the fourth chapter! =D (where Shiori's little brother is introduced XD)**

**Initially I had planned for her to have some interaction with Akashi in this chapter but I guess things just did not go as planned… but then, if you know me, when did things _ever_ go as planned? (And I really don't know if I should feel amused or annoyed by this fact…)**

**A huge thanks to those who had reviewed, favourited, and followed this story! **

**And now, I have to go back to my studies before I'm forced to flunk my test… (that's coming up next Wednesday and will only be over on the 3rd of June… I could faint from all the busy-ness… TAT )**

**I do not own KnB; OCs and plots are mine. **


End file.
